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From the desk of Professor Bill Cronon, in an e-mail announcement of a walking field-trip later this week:

"Friends --

... Temperatures over the next three days will be cool (30s at night and low 50s as the highs during the day), so please come to discussion section dressed in warm clothing (you might even want to have a hat and gloves just in case you get chilly, since the best way to get warm is to put on a hat)."

He goes on to describe the percent likelihood of rain, other articles of clothing we could bring to assure out comfort, and what to do in the event of being late. Can we discuss how meticulous, irritating, and highly adorable this is? He will be reminding us to wash our hands and eat our vegetables soon. I tell you, the Midwest is a region of mother hens, stretching all the way to UWapos;s most pretentious grown-up nerds.

In other news, I rocked the exam.
In other news, biology crushes me into the space of the worldapos;s tiniest person every Monday.
In other news, I have semi-accidentally scored a bi-weekly opinion column in the Badger Herald. They donapos;t want commentary on national news, so Iapos;ve got to cram on state and local issues in the next twenty-four hours.
In other news, I have finally fully embraced the androgyny within and as consequence look more unapologetically like a man than normal, with the result that I am relaxed and feel warmly toward everyone and no longer cringe at mirrors in disgust, and also with the result that I canapos;t move anywhere south of the Mason-Dixon Line anytime soon.
In other news, dinner with Mary Friends Saturday night most delicious and fantastic. Ate far too much, drank just enough, and enjoyed the company thoroughly.
In other news, I will regret staying up this late. All my love to those who did and those who did not just return from Egypt.

Because any news thatapos;s not about me has a better source than my stupid-ass livejournal, right?
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How do I begin to explain the fear that swallowed me as the swarm of men forced us to the side of the road? Growing up, my mother constantly instilled the idea that danger is waiting everywhere I turn. Her philosophy was proven, and I remember the pain and horror everyday.

�

The fact that I married Sam aside, I am always very cautious. Cautious turned more to obsession after my parents died. In the swirl of smoke, I saw my death and much worse. But in the overbearing roar of motors, I heard Samrsquo;s laughter. Contrasting my gripping fear, Samrsquo;s eyes glistened with shear joy.

�

Now the sun has disappeared, and I cannot find comfort in the fact that these men surrounding me are his friends, band of brothers, family. The fire is reflecting shadows on Samrsquo;s face, and for the first time, I see a hard strength in my husband. It is in this moment that I realize I do not know this man at all.

�

The beloved peyote is being passed around, and I know my husband will be out cold tonight. There is no safety in that thought. Though he tells me not to be, I am afraid. What will happen tonight once he enters an unconscious oblivion?

Can I blame Sam? I havenapos;t told him about my initial breach of innocence. I canapos;t tell him how I�drown in a crimson wave most nights once I close my eyes. Somehow I must trust Sam, a man I barely know and trust these men.

Breathe. You agreed to this adventure.

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Did you know that it is impossible to swallow a spoonful of ground cinnamon? I tried and I threw up in my friendapos;s sink and all these memories of my first three years of college came rushing back to me. Then I blew my nose and cinnamon came out, and I felt terribly conflicted about all those memories. It frightens me that maybe Iapos;m reaching this age where I puke in my friendapos;s sink and it just embarrasses me instead of being totally the most hilarious thing ever.

I know youapos;re all thinking "Bull, I could swallow a spoonful of cinnamon" because that is what I thought. I invite you to try and post the outcome here But really do it over a basin or sink.

I was allowed to roller skate today after three weeks of not being allowed and I think my knee felt a lot better. I didnapos;t even realize that it was still not in the best shape back when I was skating, but today it seemed like I was in less pain. Maybe the three weeks were good even though it pissed me off a crazy amount.

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Itapos;s not like you even realise how much this is messing with my head. Knowing exactly who�I am is playing on my mind.�You all talk the same and it just gets a little bit too dull so Iapos;ve just stopped listening. �Everything is a list of what I canapos;t be, and Iapos;m loosing all sense of self esteem. Making the same mistakes Iapos;ve always made, but atleast itapos;s one less each time. I tried to say no, but�I canapos;t make up my mind completely. I think, but Iapos;m not sure yet, and these games arenapos;t helping because I know I always loose. But the confusion is finally making sense. Knowing who but not what, I can see why words seem empty too someone that doesnapos;t understand.
I hate this.
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OK... So itapos;s Saturday... Aaaagain... This weekend goes pretty quickly though it seems.

Hmm... Right now Iapos;m just chatting on MSN and listening to Aladdin tunes... Man, I donapos;t know why but I keep getting songs in my head from this OST while Iapos;m at work.

I mowed the lawn today... Umm... That was like... Different.

Worked, then came home

Make way for Prince Ali.....

Hmmm... I feel like watching the Alice In Wonderland movie... The live action 1999 version... Man, that was awesome =)... Was watching youTube clips like 10 mins ago lol.

OH Actual news ha ha... Supernatural actors are out here Jensen and Jared are coming down and tickets cost BLOODY HEAPS

Like $150 just to get in the door, $40 for autographs, $50 for photos... It adds up to a lot... I estimate I wanna spend about $350 there... Man... I have no money *wails*

The end =)

Adios

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Go to urbandictionary.com and type in your answer to each question in the search box, then write the most amusing definition it gives you.

1. Your name: Leslie� An incredibly beautiful girl. Someone who is very attractive with the best hair. ( I really do like this definition lol)

2. Your age: 27:�� the age all rockstars die at:
jimi hendrix
jim morrison
janis joplin
kurt cobain
alexander the great
james dean
river phoenix
you and i have been through that
and this is NOT our fate
27

(No rockinapos; for me ;_;)

3. One of your friends: David Christopher (AKA DC): abbreviation for apos;donapos;t careapos;
when someone apos;oversharesapos; useless information....reply apos;dcapos;� (AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

4. What should you be doing?� Homework: an unreasonable torturous device that teachers who dont like their students use to bring them pain and cause them to lose sleep. (*CACKLE* I LOVE BEING A TEACHER, HATE BEING A STUDENT).

5. Your favourite colour: Silver: Itapos;s All Good; Everything is all good. (hehehe)

6. Your birthplace: Eugene OR: A place in Oregon where women do not need to shave their armpits. (This was so true in part of Eugene)

7. Last person you talked to: Miggy: Totally spasticated. (This is really true depending on the time of day)

8. Last thing you had to drink: Milk: Milk is Hope. Hope for midgets, like myself to grow taller. (.......I am not SHORT)

9. Your nickname: Lily: An amazing name. People with this name usually kick ass at everything they do.� (WOW Iapos;m just so awesome yapos;know...lol)

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Iapos;m starting to think..
that if things didnapos;t get complicated in life.
the world wouldnapos;t be worth it.
the highs can only be high as possible
if the lows are as low as possible
there has to be a balance.
ying and yang. Good and evil.
iapos;m not saying the world is bipolar but sometimes..
i donapos;t know. I canapos;t put my thoughts into words right now.

and with all that said, i still donapos;t know what to do about jordan.
as soon as we became just friends we got comfortable with each other again
almost as if the label was making us feel awkward.
i think that was my fault. We felt awkward around each other because i was confused
and as soon as we became just friends i was comfortable around him
and he felt it. And the "more than friends" feeling sparked right back up again.
i guess weapos;ll just see what happens.

i am pretty happy about one thing though...
last night before bed sean and jordan had this little speech that they gave me.
like they had planned it all out earlier. A little ceremony of sorts.
they told me that i was a part of their tight knit group. I had officially earned my spot.
that they expected me to be with them everyday unless i had a really good reason.
that i wasnapos;t like any other girl theyapos;ve hung out with.
that the first day i hung out with them they knew right away i fit right in.
that theyapos;re 100 positive about the 4 of us getting a house in capitol hill.
they feel like iapos;ve always been a part of the group. They can be themselves around me
and i bring out the fun in them.
it meant more to me than i could ever describe.
iapos;ve always had trouble fitting in and feeling a part of a group.
with them it was instant though. They love me for weird, dorky crazy me.
i love them so so so so much.
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In August of 2007 I was in a car accident. The other driver did not have insurance. My insurance company, who I am no longer with, is going after them to get their $2,200.00 back. They hire a third party law firm to handle this.

The address she gave the officer and was on her license was Ham Lake. So they filed there. Nope, she lives in Eagan. So they file in Dakota county. It was continuance rescheduled for today.

So before I go down, I decide to call to make sure it still happening. Good thing I did. They could not find her to serve her here in Eagan so they dismissed the court date. Their investigator found an address for her in Hennepin county do now the law office is filing there. Hennepin county dates for these trials are out to January / February dates.

At what point is my FORMER insurance company paying more for the lawyers than they paid for the claim?

So I am all dressed up and am going to do homework now.

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Iapos;m�floating.�Iapos;m floating like marshmallows on cold fruit punch.��But i am sinking.�I am sinking into an abyss of random spectrum of colours. Colours which you experience when you do weed. Colours that gradually melt together to give you a whole black mass of nothing. Only you can save me. Save me from this kamikaze of undesired and immense sadness. But yoursquo;re not. Not saving me. Yoursquo;re just. Floating. Because you are selfish. And there is nothing i can do about it.

Float away.�I hope you float away far enough so that i wonrsquo;t have the strength to look for you.�I donrsquo;t want to see you. But i see you everyday. You donrsquo;t know it. But i see you everyday in a song. And i will try. Try to forget you. Please let me. Please.

I�need a notebook.�A no-te-bo-ok. To pen down my thoughts. Livejournal canapos;t be trusted.�Theyapos;ll tell others about my fucked up life.�No. My thoughts needs to be penned down. Before they do a little tribal dance and hop away like bunny rabbits in a death cab video. My thoughts dance really well they have "mad skillz".�I cant afford to sell my thoughts to The Wind. Thoughts hold secrets to my soul. If The Wind knows about It, The Wind will try to steal It away from me. Because thats what The Wind does best. The Wind is a soul-stealer. But not only soul, The Wind sometimes also steals jazz, metal and hip hop. But you cannot blame The Wind. It is merely doing its job. It is you. You are responsible for letting It slip away .. It is now gone, with The Wind. Jialat, then how? Consperm cannot sleep leh. Tml cannot wake up go shoppeng. Kaninaaa. How liddat? Stay at the home watch FRIENDS on�tv lor Hanor hanor tv dam nice one i tell you. Veh the intelesting. Then can go cor the macdonal delibery. Eat foot and watch tv. Wah, lyk in havent sia. Super mario shiok man

Oh, dear brain, why do you always do this to me? All i wanted was a notebook.

Okay iapos;m have no idea what ivapos;e just said. I�am an emotional wreck.�I know right, youapos;ve heard that line like a billion times before. But who gives a fuck.�I am too tired to think of something witty to say.�I didnt sleep all night yesterday. I forsee many more sleepless nights.

Look what youapos;ve done to me. You happy now? Why does life always have to dissapoint me?�In the end�iapos;m still the one to blame?

Have i ever not advised you, lend a listening ear, be there for you. Sometimes i feel as though iapos;m much more of a sister to you than you are to me.

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